5 Simple Tricks to Help You Win Any Argument

Argument tactic #3.

I was reading another post about 5 Simple tricks to help you win any argument here (damn, it’s now defunct)… and I thought of a few more… so, here are 5 Simple Tricks to help you win arguments.

1. Only Argue One Very Specific Point

I notice that most arguments people attempt to suck me in to start out as one thing in my mind, and a different thing in the other person’s mind. QUICKLY identify in your mind what the disagreement is – and ask the person so you can at least be on the same page… Most often I’m not in disagreement with the other person about what they THINK I am… when we define the exact point that we disagree on, sometimes the argument disappears.

2. Use, “God told me that (insert crux of your argument here)…”

Here in Thailand, I spent the first almost two years telling Thai people this. They were at a total loss for what to do or say after that as they feared contradicting my religion. Who’s gonna argue with God? Well, they don’t here anyway. Even if your opponent doesn’t fall for it and calls you nuts, at least you broke up the atmosphere and lightened everything up.

3. Zipper Mouth Technique

Sometimes I put my thumb and forefinger together up close to my face – in the vicinity of my mouth… I exaggerate the movement of touching them together hard… I then do a trick that looks like I’m pulling an imaginary thread across my mouth… if done correctly it almost resembles the closing of a zipper. Yes, that’s it – a zipper over the mouth. Sometimes that works (with children). Sometimes not. I use it with my girlfriend here and again, it lightens up the atmosphere and we can either keep arguing or that stops it because it’s too silly.

4. Fist Smacking

If I’m really feeling testy I’ll make a fist with one hand and start punching my other, open hand. I put on a very strange face – like, “go ahead and keep it up”… I stop looking at them and I just focus intensely on my two hands and that motion… usually, the other person gets the idea… and we both end up laughing hard…

5. Bring Other People into the Argument

If you are absolutely SURE that you’ll have the general consensus and most normal people would agree with your side of the argument, then bring others into it for support. First, you gotta make sure that there are ‘normal folks’ around you during the argument. Your kind. I’ve done this in the general public, and, as a man let me tell you that NOBODY will side with you when a man is arguing with his girlfriend. Doesn’t matter what it’s about.

Nobody. Little kids will give you mean looks too. Other than that situation, if you are surrounded by normal folks and you aren’t arguing with your spouse… the argument situation changes because… it frees you up to think of more devastating attacks on the other person, and your opponent will quickly tire of arguing with more than one person.

Ok, those are my tips. Hope they’re helpful. Please let me know if you have success with one of these argument tactics.

Best of Life!

Vern

3 thoughts on “5 Simple Tricks to Help You Win Any Argument

  • October 29, 2007 at 1:35 pm
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    Great ideas! Do you think #7 will work with my employees? Like, God told me you were late from lunch or is that just an HR nightmare?

    Oh, I did want to suggest that if #8 doesn’t work… there is always the Dr. Evil “this is what you are doing… and this is what I want you to do” point… followed by the interuption noises everytime the other speaks (sorry, I am clueless on how to even begin to spell that). At least it worked in the movie…

    I haven’t tried the punching thing but at 5’3″ I am not too intimidating… my oponent wouldn’t even blink.

    Thanks for the fun post!
    TamiB

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  • November 10, 2007 at 4:54 pm
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    HA! I loved the Dr. Evil sayings… could build a whole comedy blog just on those! The key when you’re doing these is tongue in cheek – don’t actually LOOK intimidating, that’s the part that makes you win because they won’t take you seriously and the argument stops sometimes after that. If I’m in desperation I usually just say, ahhhhh whatever, so what’s next? Where do we go from here? Thanks for your comments Tami!

    Reply
  • November 13, 2007 at 4:10 am
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    “9. If I’m really feeling testy I’ll make a fist with one hand and start punching my other, open hand. I put on a very strange face – like, “go ahead and keep it up”… I stop looking at them and I just focus intensely on my two hands and that motion… usually the other person gets the idea… and we both end up laughing hard..”

    I’m totally going to use this. Honestly, is anything funnier than half/implied immediate violence? Probably, but this is still pretty funny. I’m liking your blog Vern, good to see you are still at it. -D

    Reply

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