“The 4 Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
When I started meditation and got into it pretty well, I noticed that I became incapable of gossiping. I don’t know what happened, but meditation knocked it out of me. If I’m with someone that is gossiping I listen and change the subject. I don’t speak badly of someone except with them. I have a bad habit of telling the truth when someone asks. I figure – if they didn’t want to know they wouldn’t have asked. I don’t play the game where I sugar-coat things and make them feel ok about whatever it is I disagree with or that I see in them.
At times I drop bombs. I had a site called, “Mindbombs.com” for a while – I’ve since let it go… but the idea was that I liked dropping mindbombs (truths that hurt) at times when someone least expects it… The best time is when someone thinks they’re getting along with me well and we’re really having a meaningful experience – whatever that might be… and they ask me something and I truthfully respond. Jaws drop and it shakes them for a few days… Sometimes it rings them out and they don’t come back for anymore.
I have this idea that being truthful with someone about nearly all situations is what I can offer them that is something that few others will offer them. I can give them a gift by cracking their cranium just a little bit… enough to hurt but hopefully enough to give them a perspective that they haven’t heard about themselves.
I really liked number 2. “When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. I like this one so much because this is the thing that set me free in my mind at about age 16. I was talking to my Uncle John and he was telling me some life advice… he said something about me looking out for myself and that nobody is looking out for me more than me. Nobody. Nobody’s opinion matters more than mine because nobody else has my best interests at heart. Nobody. Just me. When I really realized the profundity of that idea it freed me of a lot of mental chains that were holding me back.
I don’t follow tradition. I don’t do things others do just because they’ve been done in the past. I question nearly everything about my life and what I’m doing so I’m not acting on tradition or according to what someone else believes I “should”. I really enjoy life in this way!
Number 3 is talking about what I like to call peoples “private logic”. In your own mind, you make this reality that you think the rest of the world shares. You base actions, decisions, everything on this reality. Problems arise when your reality doesn’t match someone else’s reality. If you assume it does – you’ll find out – nobody on the planet shares your reality about everything. Definitely not about most things. Possibly not about anything.
Number 4 I have been thinking about a lot lately… doing my best at whatever I’m doing. Giving my best effort to whatever I’m doing. Slowing down and concentrating on whatever it is that I’m doing in every moment so I can put forth my best work. It’s given me a great feeling lately to practice day to day life according to this idea.
What do you think of these four ideas to guide your morality… your day to day life?
Best of Life!
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