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Are You Owned? Or, Are You "The Man"? | CRANK101

Are You Owned? Or, Are You “The Man”?

A person, you, for instance, goes through life knowing there are certain things that are essential for happiness. One of those things is freedom.

When I was sixteen I was sent to my uncle John’s home in Virginia to see if some sense could be talked into my head. I’d been binge drinking with friends since age thirteen and I was having a great time in my teens. My uncle was a pretty serious stiff and was working in the Pentagon. Mom thought he could straighten me out I guess.

Well, my uncle sat me down in their dining room and we had the talk.

My uncle went on to explain something about the realities of life. Mom doesn’t want me drinking. It’s fun to drink. It’s not good to drive a car and drink (which I wasn’t). Life is what you make it… and he only talked for about 5-minutes.

Basically, the only thing I remember was feeling tense. I didn’t know what he could say that could destroy my world, but I was just waiting for it. Then he said something that I didn’t think I heard correctly.

“It’s up to you man. You’re the one running your life, not us. Nobody is looking out for you like you’ve gotta look out for you. You can decide – do you want to drink yourself into being an alcoholic and dicking up your entire life? Or, choose something else. If you want to have fun all your life – that’s completely up to you. You’ve got to make yourself happy, nobody else is going to do that for you.”

He left it at that.

That wasn’t an exact quote – but that’s how I remember it. During that minute, my head spun and the result was – that minute changed the rest of my life because I realized – I’m the man. At sixteen, at eighteen, at forty-three. I’m the man. I make the decisions for whatever this body is doing. I take everything into account, and I make all decisions. I can listen to others if I want to – for their input, but in the end – I can make any decision I want. I can even go completely against what makes sense to everyone else and do what I want.

That was the moment I really found freedom in my life. There was my uncle, ultra-respected guy because he had his life together. He had an awesome wife and two great kids that were my childhood idols if it were said that I had any. He was working at the Pentagon and we all assumed he had a million or so dollars saved as he was ruthlessly frugal. There was this guy, bigger than life telling me that I’m the man. The buck stops right here. It goes no further. Mom doesn’t own me. Teachers don’t own me. Relatives and friends don’t own me.

My uncle John gave me Reality101 in about 5-minutes. He basically gave me my freedom that day and made me who I am.

“Free at last, free at last…”

Rev. and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. during his “I have a dream” speech. Video here.

What or Who Owns You?

It’s a strange question and most of you will say, “Nobody owns me. I’m my own person. I make my own decisions. I haven’t been owned since I was a child.”

I’d disagree.

I’ve known people all my life that aren’t making decisions based on what’s good for them. Mom, dad, kids, every other person close to them are affecting decisions they make about their life. Their future is determined by others. Where they’re going and what they’ve done has been entirely determined by others and what they want, need, beg for, whine, and cry for.

People own people. People let themselves be owned. It’s comfortable to some – more comfortable than making their own decisions. Decisions come hard to some people.

If you’re not making every decision for YOU though, you’re owned.

It’s not just people you know that can own you. My younger brother and sister are amazing people. They’re brilliant in every way. Unselfish. Giving. Caring. Kind. Considerate. Creatively brilliant. Conversationally gifted. I couldn’t have dreamed up two better siblings to spend life with. I consider myself the luckiest person in the world to have the family I have.

You know what? Though they’ve got all these things going for them, and a cumulative IQ of over 320 they’ve allowed themselves to become owned by┬ápeople they never met. They’re owned by talk-radio fear mongers that make a career of scaring people about events in the world and locally that nobody understands the complete picture about. These scaremongers frighten millions of people in the USA daily because fear is one of the hardest emotions to kick straight in the face and make go away. Fear is ubiquitous and fear is viral. Fear is addictive to many of us.

These talk show idiots don’t make a positive difference in anyone’s life. Many listeners are trapped in ‘caring’ about what they’re saying. You know what? It’s very possible that you don’t listen to even one talk radio show or see even one television show – even the news, and go about your life exactly how you want to… owning all of it for yourself. Fear need not play a major role in your life.

Is your mind owned by someone in the media? I’ll bet it is – to some degree, I’ll bet it is. I’ll bet almost every single one of you reading this listens to some quack spouting off an opinion about something that doesn’t make a damn bit of difference in the world – and only makes a difference in your mind and the minds the idiot reaches through the media. That is such a horrible tragedy in my mind.

If you listen to one of these clowns an hour a day. That’s one hour a day that you push your kids away and shush your spouse so you can listen to some jackass in the media whose job isn’t to present you with facts – or to incite you to do anything about the problems of the world – just to get you to fear so much that you can’t stand the thought of not listening to the idiocy again and again – hopelessly, fearfully addicted to it.

If it’s not talk radio then maybe TV owns you. Maybe it’s a newspaper columnist. Maybe it’s the advertising industry.

Maybe it’s strangers you see every time you go out in public. You might be afraid to act as you truly are – gay, a cross-dresser, a liberal, a conservative, a fruit-loop, whatever it is. You might be so afraid of the public’s reaction to what you are that you’re owned by it – you’re governed by something outside yourself.

Maybe it’s food. If you can’t go 4 hours without thinking about food – you’re owned by food. Nobody needs to eat something every four hours. Monks in Thailand survive on one meal a day, some on two meals a day and they don’t eat after noon. I’ve seen fewer fat people in Thailand than I thought existed in the world. Maybe 5-8% of the population has a food problem. Compare that to America. Can you walk down any street in America and not see someone who is over their ideal weight by 100 lbs? Can you see anyone over the age of forty that might be at their ideal or healthy weight?

Maybe you’re owned by alcohol or some other drug. Maybe your life is spent thinking about the next time you can drink beer or whiskey or your next bowl of pot. Do you realize how much one simple drug and feeling can own you?

Maybe you obsess about sex. Guys – you’ve got serious issues if you can’t get sex out of your mind for 20 minutes. Serious issues – can you see that? Sex owns your mind – and the result – orgasm is nothing but a feeling that lasts a few seconds. Should your entire life be ruled by such a silly thing?

Every single person reading this might ask themselves…

What is owning me?

What do I spend an insane amount of time doing or thinking about doing that isn’t helping me live a life that’s awesome?

What has the power to influence me to choose things I don’t want for myself?

Who has that power – and why do I give it to them?

Who can make me happy, but myself?

Who is looking out for my best interests MORE than I am?

Is there anyone that cares about me in this whole world – more than I do?

When I’m 70 years old and thinking about what I’ve done with life – will I cry about how stupid I was to give 25,000 hours of life to some jackass on the radio that played me like a stick marionette for 12 years of listening to 4 hours of talk radio daily?

When I’m 48 and suffering daily, dying daily, because I’m 148 lbs over what I should weigh will I question this present lifestyle?

When my child grows up and clings to anyone they find because I was never close enough to her as a friend, suffering through failed relationship after relationship – will I blame myself then?

If you’re not taking complete control of your life TODAY and each and every day then your entire life is going to hell. The lives of others that are dependent on you – might also suffer.

If you’re spending hundreds, or even more mind-numbing, thousands of hours listening to idiots talk on the radio or TV – when will it finally hit you that you’ve been owned?

When will you finally decide to reclaim your life from food, porn, cigarettes, alcohol, materialism, insincere friends, controlling parents or spouses…

When is the point where you say – WTF have I been doing with my life – and why am I not happy? Why am I not making this self happy? What is it that’s holding me back and owning me every single day of my owned life?

At some point, you’re going to reach that state of mind… that state of questioning. For most, it happens sometimes after 45-50 or so years.

For you – it could happen t-o-d-a-y. You could choose right now in this minute to stop all the things owning you and sucking the life out of you.

Do it now – do it because you’re the only one on the planet that knows what’s good for you.

Do it now because in thirty years you’ll be doing it anyway… and thirty years is a lot of nonsense to put up with!



Own your life – from this day forward.


Never look back at the mess it could have become.

Best of Life!

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4 thoughts on “Are You Owned? Or, Are You “The Man”?

  • at 12:45 am

    I do believed I am owned by opinions of others. My life isn’t my own, I bend to the will of others and I should stop. There are a few troubles with that though. It isn’t too bad in daily life, but work is the worst part. I work in retail so I am expected to be perfectly happy for every customer. I am supposed to not say anything bad to the customer no matter how much of an idiot they are being. It gets hard.

    I do love the idea of not being owned by the media. I barely watch TV and I don’t listen to the radio unless I am in a car. I still get the messages from friends, other people, and the internet. It gets hard to distance yourself.

    I will try to not let the opinions of others own me.

    • at 10:42 am

      Hi Philip – We need others. We can’t exist in a vacuum. However, there are those that want to control not only their own life – but yours too. Those are the people you’ve gotta set straight. I’ve had many people throughout my life attempt to control me with what they want. I listen. I choose what’s right for me. It can’t be any other way. Some people are hurt, offended, bruised when I choose my own way. That’s not the ideal situation – but I didn’t cause it – they did by expecting me to follow what they were saying. It may shock you but, I’m a firm believer in letting teens choose for themselves what they want to do. We can guide them as parents, but you know what? They’re ready to start making decisions. They’ll make some dumb ones – absolutely – and they’ll find out what works for them and what doesn’t. Because your child chooses a path radically different from your own… that’s life. HIS life or HER life – not yours.

      Did you want to choose what goes on in your life from age 16? Was anything that was forced on you at that age a positive thing in your life? Not for me. Let your kids go. Let your friends go. Let your family – your brothers and sisters go. They are their own people. They don’t need you to try to influence their lives – they’ve got enough people like that. Support your family and friends – don’t lead them around with a hand-hold.

      About your work – sounds like it’s time to get out of retail working for someone else and get into retail (if it’s your passion) for yourself. In retail if you want to be successful and money is your string-puller then be happy with every customer. For myself, I’m not a salesman. I can’t smile at people being rude to me – that would be quite impossible. I’ve no time for rude people and wouldn’t a second longer than I had to with them. Eliminate them from the equation. Your life is a massive equation – and all the rude people, people with agendas, people with lots to say but closed ears – are sucking up some of your valuable time… They’re sucking up some of your energy. Let them loose to destroy themselves from the inside… away from you… as far away as possible. If I worked in a job where I regularly encountered such people I’d realize at some point that working in that situation just wasn’t for me…

      Maybe it’s not for you either?

  • at 2:49 pm

    Awesome post. It’s a struggle, for sure, to take ownership of your own life and the results you get from your actions. Society isn’t built around such ideas. But when you manage to “be the man,” to whatever degree, it’s worth it.

    Working for the man is definitely a good way to not be the man. Right now, I’m doing work that I think is necessary and important, but it’s not on my terms, so I’m planning my way out.

    Thanks for the nudge.


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