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Fate?

I told you a couple weeks ago that I am a very logical person. I believe absolutely zero percent in the ideas of fate, karma, a God that has any effect on my life, or hope in something that’s outside of myself – because I cannot prove any of them correct. I cannot prove to you or even to me that any of these things are acting in my life, and I don’t believe others that insist they are.

I’m just not a person that believes in faith, or hope. I do all I can and then the chips fall where they fall (the laws of chance). I do everything I can to skew the results so the result goes my way – the way I want it to go. If I haven’t put the time in to skew the result in my favor then I don’t hope that it happens, I just watch and see what happens. The laws of chance say that sometimes it will happen in my favor – so that’s a good thing.

To wish, hope or pray for something to happen is beyond me. I believe that I’m ineffectual at changing something that I cannot directly affect in a logical way. Prayers, good thoughts, good deeds, and the rest of are things that I don’t bother with as I’ve not seen them have any effect beyond the laws of probability and chance, so what is the point. I live my life without faith in anything but what I can do.

That said, I’ve been agonizing over this decision about leaving Thailand. I’ve been here just over 2.5 years now. I have come to LOVE the country, it’s people, the culture, the spontaneity foreigners living here can enjoy because of the cheap cost of living and the ease of changing jobs almost at will.

But, I feel like I need to return to Hawaii to catch up on all I’ve missed out on. I feel like my skills as an Internet Marketing Consultant are slipping a bit since I’m not involved in the same kinds of projects and surrounded by the same types of people as I was back in the USA.

I have obligations I’ve totally neglected, being cozily tucked away in Southeast Asia and stressing out about life as little as possible, and far less than I ever dreamed I could.

So, I created the Meta Decision Table, and the result that is supposed to show me a definitive answer, came up with an almost exact tie. When the values are close after going through the Meta Decision Tables it can be a very hard decision indeed.

So, that’s what I was facing.

I decided to do something I’ve never done in my life – flip a coin to decide something. Yep, it is totally illogical and completely based on the laws of chance, but in this case I decided to attribute whatever result happened as a result that was influenced by karma or fate or something else outside of statistics.

The flip revealed to me that I’m staying in Thailand. I accepted that for a couple weeks and then, over these weeks there have been more reasons surfacing for returning to the states and Hawaii. I was walking the beach today…

Playing cardI found a playing card lying on the sand. That is not too out of the ordinary as I’ve seen many things on deserted beaches since the Tsunami of 2004. The card’s face was down and I couldn’t see what card it was. I thought…. hmm, should I try this again?

After all, fate is the way things are supposed to be, right? If it was fate that I flip that coin and get the result to stay in Thailand, then it would be fate that showed me this card laying face down in the sand. It woud be fate if I decided to turn over this card and have the result tell me AGAIN, what to do… yes?

I don’t really know how this fate, stuff works – as I said, I haven’t used it in my life and I usually ignore conversations about it as utter nonsense so I’m clue-less when it comes to this.

I decided that if the card was a BLACK card I would go back to Hawaii. RED and I would stay in Thailand where my heart is.

I hesitated a few seconds – 20 or so… Just holding the card and wondering – do I want to do this again? I took a photo of the card before I turned it over.
I turned the card over and guess what?

Playing Card 6 hearts

What does THAT MEAN?

The saltwater, sun, and whatever else had reacted with the dye of the card to erase all traces of color. The card had no black nor did it have red. However, there WAS the very faint outline in another shade of white that revealed that the card was actually a 6 of hearts. A red card,
without the red.

I have no idea what kind of answer that was to my question. I think it means, don’t rely on fate or something outside yourself anymore!

See what I mean – you CANNOT rely on something outside of yourself.

Take as much action as you can to influence the way a situation or a decision goes, make a decision if you need to. If you wrap yourself up in the hope that there’s some universal entity or path for your life you’re just wasting your time and giving emotional energy to something that shouldn’t get it. Save your emotional energy for loving your spouse, children, friends and self. Don’t give it away to the heavens…

Best of Life!

Vern
Find me at Twitter HERE >

9 thoughts on “Fate?

  • at 2:59 pm
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    How freaky is that. You put your decision on the line, in the hands of “fate” and it comes up not as definite as anyone would expect. The card was red, but not as red as you would hope!

    I am one of the people who does trust in God, but I can understand where you are coming from. If you don’t believe that God (or anyone else) can help, then why would you waste time praying?

    Will you stay or will you go?

    Reply
  • at 10:02 pm
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    Yeah, strange right? I was fully expecting to see one or the other… and was in that dichotomous frame of mind – this way, or that way… but not THAT way! So – I’ve decided to return to Hawaii anyway… It just makes sense.

    Reply
  • at 6:52 pm
    Permalink

    Hi Wade,

    I think we’re coming from different belief systems. Who told you that I’m living karma? Because in 41 years I’ve not known that. I’m not one to believe blindly or on faith, so can you convince me? I’m slow on reading your links – will get to them. Moving back to Hawaii I thought in a month or 2, but it seems to be coming up on me quicker than estimated.

    I’m not really one to play the game of conversation based on someone’s personal definitions of what something is either… Your definition of karma is action. I think I’m in the majority when I say to you that my/our definition is that karma is the cycle of what happens after an action takes place… the action, events that occur short and long-term in relation to that action are all involved in my definition of karma. I can’t have conversations with people when they start re-defining what words mean to them and not what it means to the masses.

    I want to read your links – really, will get to them probably at the airport internet cafe here in Thailand. Does the new monster airport HAVE an internet cafe? They’ve really hosed the place up and actually reverted back to the original airport for some flights which was a major face-loss. But, I’ll see it in 3-D soon here.

    Thanks for writing!

    Vern

    Reply
  • at 5:16 am
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    Hi, saw you stopped by my blog so I came to see yours. Very interesting post! I’m going to go back and read some of your archives! I agree I don’t think there is any all-powerful being watching over us and don’t really believe in fate either. But sometimes things do happen that seem “meant to be.” As to your current situation, what a wonderful choice to have – Thailand or Hawaii! I don’t think you can miss with either. As I wrote in my blog a few posts ago, I’m a believer in one of Kimo’s Rules: The unaimed arrow never misses. Go with your heart and drift where you will, and whatever happens will be the right thing to do.

    Reply
  • at 9:42 am
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    Vern, this is where so much of your good writing is! Glad I’ve found it. 🙂

    As for coincidences, not sure I believe in them. I believe it is someone, somewhere, trying to get our attention.

    Peace,

    ~Chani

    Reply
  • at 2:24 am
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    Hi There

    What a Truly cool Post! My buddies and I had a laugh at the bit where you were drawn between the wonderful aspects of Thailand and having to return to Hawaii. If only I could have such dilemmas.

    What I will say though is – If you flipped the coin and then decided to make it “2 out of 3” a large portion of your heart was already hoping to go back to Hawaii.

    Have a Great Day! And good Luck (If such a thing exists)

    Reply
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  • at 4:14 am
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    Mauigirl – thanks for writing… I like that – the unaimed arrow never misses… that is ME. I AM the unaimed arrow recently… and I haven’t made it back to Hawaii either. Hmm, maybe I’m supposed to stay here in Thailand?

    Rednose – yah, there were parts of me emotionally that wanted to return to Hawaii and parts that wanted to stay here. I pretty much planned to go back to Hawaii and now – looks like that won’t be happening anytime soon. I am now considering some forest meditation if I can find a willing forest wat that will take me in. My “Thai” speaking leaves a lot to be desired but I can cover all the basics. We’ll see what happens, of course I’ll be blogging about it… 😉 Thanks for writing!

    Reply
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