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I Want: A God Filter

The name of this filter doesn’t have much to do with God – well, it could, but what I’m really referring to is a God Filter as the ultimate filter of everything that hits my eyeballs.

The God Filter is like God. It sees all. It knows all. It understands what I want and what I don’t want. More importantly it knows what I don’t want.

I want my computer(s), phone, and anything else to never show me certain things. I want the God Filter to take control of my entire online experience and never show me some things I don’t want to see.

The God Filter would immediately kill anything attempting to reach me through my browser, email, comments on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, Delicious, StumbleUpon, and everything I use on the computer or phone.

I say phone because I’m often checking email, reading RSS feeds and now checking Facebook on the phone – so the God Filter will work there too.

Just for starters I would program the God Filter to kill anything attempting to hit my eyeballs related to the following:

  • Ashton Kutcher, Oprah, Jane Fonda, Bush, Clinton,
  • 1,000,000 Twitter followers
  • tea party
  • Jesus; bless,  in god’s name, praise, evangelic, evangelism, or anything related to these faith-based terms.
  • MLM, multi-level marketing, ponzi, pyramid scheme.
  • porn
  • Palin
  • Obama dog, presidential dog
  • Thaksin Shinawatra (Thailand’s ex prime minister)
  • tv, television,  LOST, soap opera, sports, basketball, football, Well, I’d list every sport except: triathlon, biathlon, bicycling, running.

If I get an email from a friend and he uses the phrase “praise be god” the God Filter would recognize this as a trigger phrase and intelligently replace it with something that makes sense and keeps the flow – but spares me from reading that phrase. Maybe it would change to, “That’s cool!”

Ok, I’ll not spend anymore than 10 minutes on this – as it’s just a fantasy, too impossible to have something like this at the moment. Even just God-filtering out every piece of information in the list above would make me SO happy because I’d never see it. I’d never have to read a title in my RSS reader or see in a Google search result something with the subjects above.

I wonder how much time I could save with a fully enabled, custom-programmed God Filter…

Can someone put on their thinking cap please?

I really want a God Filter.

 

One thought on “I Want: A God Filter

  • at 4:53 am
    Permalink

    I love this idea! I agree – and let’s add anything to do with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, her sister, Palin’s entire family, not just Palin; and Rush Limbaugh. I’m sure I could go on.

    Reply

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